Reading is dreaming with eyes open

I’ve always wanted to start my own thing //

Its been a blessing and a curse. Several years ago I started a clothing line turning men’s dress shirts into women’s dresses. It was so much fun and exciting and ended quickly when fear & doubt went ahead and took over. Started working full time, got certificates in things I didn’t care about and did the 9-6. It was normal and that felt like an odd relief, but I knew I needed more. So I went back to sewing, spent my days creating, experienced the high highs and low lows of entrepreneurship until those deep rooted beliefs of unworthiness overwhelmed me, and I quit again.

Major blocks //

At around that time I'd fallen in love with yoga and found a yoga teacher training that would fit my schedule perfectly in the city I was moving to. It was everything I needed right then and I completely stalled. There was a big fat invisible wall standing between me and this exciting prospect. I felt stuck and scared and stayed in my comfort zone. The deadline for the application was July something. The night before this date, I hadn’t even started applying. I was run by the very quiet, very powerful voice in my head saying crap like “This’ll get you nowhere”. “What’s the point”. “There’s no way you can do this”.  "Stay complacent, its less scary".

My friend had sent me a book - You Are a Badass: How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life. Why not – I felt the block, I wanted to move beyond it and had no idea how to.  This title seemed about right, so I opened it.
It broke down exactly everything I’d been dealing with, without realizing it. Jen Sincero, the author, allows the reader to look fear, be OK with it and keep moving forward. She introduced me to the idea of living in faith instead of letting fear and doubt take over. It’s a major challenge, considering I have ALWAYS lived like this. But she gives exercises towards taking steps out of our comfort zone, inspires us to visualize us living our absolute best life, and makes us laugh along the way.

Empowered //

I put the book down, got to my computer, felt this new sense of empowerment and filled out the application. It was an excitement I hadn’t felt in a long time. For the first time ever, I consciously allowed faith to drown out the fear. The yoga teacher training changed my life, and that book is the reason I took the first step.

Help yourself //

I’ve since become a “self care junkie”, reading or listening to books that empower, excite, teach. In the scary, sometimes lonely, sometimes overwhelming world of starting a business, these books helped me shift my perspective.

Run, don’t walk to the thing that makes your heart beat faster. Let that excitement take over, make the choice to move forward, say hi to fear, feel that discomfort and just do it. If it feels right, its not meant to be easy. Its meant to happen. 

xx, LrM

Life throws curveballs. Even in Italy.

Its 7:30am on the first Sunday of August 2017. 

And so the story of Italy goes like this. We hop in the 15km tunnel in the French alps and hop out on the other side into one of my favorite countries. The language is magical, the street signs are different. The roads are narrow. The drivers absolutely insane and apparently do not pay attention to rules of the road. New territory for sure.
We follow signs for Genoa, go through tunnel after tunnel, see cute castle on a hill after castle on a hill, I freak out with every car that barely grazes ours as we drive 140km/hr around another turn. Tiny barriers keeping us safe from falling off the cliffs. 

Our destination is a campground off the coast. We keep driving and swerving and follow the GPS. The water is to our right. Its stunning. Dreams of pitching the tent at a campsite along the ocean dance in our heads. Visions of enjoying cappuccinos while listening to the waves crash along the sands induce excitement.
Google maps says "turn left". Keep going left. up a hill, another left turn, another motorcycle zooms past, another fiat speeds in the opposite direction.
Up farther, another left. Another curve. A cliff to right, motorcycles zoom past. GPS says we've reached our destination. That little dot was right on the coast on our phone, but nowhere did google maps say we we'd be high up in the freakin hills. A sign indicates the beach to the right. The steep stairs wind and wind for what seems like miles.

This isn't what we had in mind for our perfect night at a campground on the border of Italy.  Brandon and I get out of the car, stretch our legs and he mentally prepares to do the same journey in reverse. We light up cigarettes and puff through the anxiety. Lets try again.

More small streets, sharp curves, I'm freaking out and we decide to stop before we get in a bigger fight. This might be the night we find a hotel instead of pitch the tent. We've worked hard, we can splurge. We call around, receptionists laugh that we're looking for a room at 6pm on a Saturday. Ah yes...the rest of the world is doing this exact same thing. First weekend in August, everyone is on the Mediterranean. Bien sur. 
We cant find anywhere to stay. Its 7pm now, the sun is still high in the sky but I know it will be setting behind those mountains soon. And I start to realize I'm getting hungry. Awesome. Hungry and impatient - fabulous combo.
Brandon reminds me that it always works out. How, where, when, we do not know. But it does. We've been in this situation so many times, and it always works out. Alrighty lets focus on the positive. 

ARG. 

We get back on the main road and drive a little further south. The first right turn that looks like our car could may actually fit and a few signs for hotels point in a direction give us hope. Take a right and head down. Sharp curves and busses and motorcycles and big families stress me out as we descend, but palm trees and the sounds of the waves keep us doing.  We circle the worlds smallest parking lot. Its 8pm now. All hotels are booked, no place to stay, we're ready to just sleep in the car or illegally pitch the tent somewhere. whatever. I just want to swim under the sun and eat some freakin pizza. 

I call one more hotel. I use my rehearsed "do you have a room?" (in Italian) and he speaks English! There's one room left! Its a "suite" with a view of the water! YAAAAS! Pack up the essentials, leave the car in the tiny space we miraculously squeezed into and wander the streets for our new hotel room. 

Camogli is perfection. Our room has the most stunning views I have ever seen. We get our bathing suits on, jump giddily to the beautiful beach only steps away from the hotel's front door and rush into the water as the giant pink sun sets behind the mountains.

It always freakin works out.

Next on the list: wine, pizza and gelato. We get 2 mageritta pizzas to-go and I get chocolate & peach ice cream. 50% because I adore these flavors and 50% because they're the only words I could read on the menu. We pass out at midnight to the sounds of the waves through the window.
I wake up to beach chairs being set up, seagulls calling and the sounds of the ocean at around 7am and head to the dining room with my laptop. I'm greeted sweetly by an Italian man wearing a bow tie. at 7am. The 90s American classics on the radio (Christina Aguilera, Toto) and the echos of "ciao! Arrivedercci! grazie!" bounce on the walls. Loud laughter, booming conversation and music hammer at my hangover but and I cant help but smile.

I set up the computer, input the magical characters that connect my laptop to the world of internet and order a cappuccino. My coffee on the coast. Brandon joins me. Sweet bow-tie man gracefully presents him with his cafe latte. "Buongiornio!!!" We cheers our caffeinated beverages and laugh. Here's to our current reality, our insane expectations met. To this little adventure. 

xx, LrM

"how i became a warrior" - Jeff Foster

I'd like to preface this post by saying I'm pretty dense when it comes to poetry. I'm not here to regale you with my analysis about what is being said between the lines. This one just resonated at the perfect time, and I'm writing this post in hopes that it will find someone with whom it resonates as profoundly.

In the 8 weeks I've lived in PA,  I have found many gems. One of which, is an incredible yoga studio here in Phoenixville. Who knew. So far, every 1 & 1/2 hour class I've attended has been like a therapy session. A layer is shed, a puddle of tears is cried out, a shift in perspective born. Needless to say, I was overwhelmingly moved by my last class. I've even told several friends about it, my condensed version impacting them. Maybe this will hit home for you too. 

April 14th, 2018 was the first day the temperature hit 80 degrees. The first day it got above 60F in all honesty. Appropriately, the theme of the class was about transitioning into spring. Leaving winter behind and coming into a new season. We've had a long winter here in lovely PA. Several snow storms, a lot of rain, cold winds and dark days. Emotionally and physically, the heaviness of winter resides in the body. We are so ready for this stunning weather, we are ready to shed the weight. To do so, however, you have to go deep AF. You have to do the work, emotionally and physically.

And so we do.

My teacher starts by having us visualize the hardships of our respective winters. She guides us to imagine  being submerged under the metaphorical blanket of the dark, the heavy, the never ending cold. Through the 90 minute course, in a nut shell, we gracefully move out of from underneath this blanket, embrace the pain, and go back under it. All the while cultivating our inner fire, light & power. As one does on a Saturday morning.

Halfway into class, she has us in malasana. I am not a fan of this pose. I sit on a block at it's highest level in hopes that my very tight hips will loosen. She reads a poem and we close our eyes, in a posture where the mecca of emotions reside. Open and vulnerable.  

h o w   i   b e c a m e   a   w a r r i o r
written by Jeff Foster

Once, I ran from fear
so fear controlled me.
Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn.
Listen to it, but not give in.
Honor it, but not worship it.
Fear could not stop me anymore.
I walked with courage into the storm.
I still have fear,
but it does not have me.
*
*
*
Once, I was ashamed of who I was.
I invited shame into my heart.
I let it burn.
It told me, "I am only trying
to protect your vulnerability".
I thanked shame dearly,
and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed, with shame as a lover.
*
*
*
Once, I had great sadness
buried deep inside.
I invited it to come out and play.
I wept oceans. My tear ducts ran dry.
And I found joy right there.
Right at the core of my sorrow.
It was heartbreak that taught me how to love.
*
*
*
Once, I had anxiety.
A mind that wouldn't stop.
Thoughts that wouldn't be silent.
So I stopped trying to silence them.
And I dropped out of the mind,
and into the Earth.
Into the mud.
Where I was held strong
like a tree, unshakeable, safe.
*
*
*
Once, anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heart pound and my blood boil.
Listened to it, finally.
And it screamed, "Respect yourself fiercely now!".
"Speak your truth with passion!".
"Say no when you mean no!".
"Walk your path with courage!".
"Let no one speak for you!"
Anger became an honest friend.
A truthful guide.
A beautiful wild child.
*
*
*
Once, loneliness cut deep.
I tried to distract and numb myself.
Ran to people and places and things.
Even pretended I was "happy".
But soon I could not run anymore.
And I tumbled into the heart of loneliness.
And I died and was reborn
into an exquisite solitude and stillness.
That connected me to all things.
So I was not lonely, but alone with All Life.
My heart One with all other hearts.
*
*
*
Once, I ran from difficult feelings.
Now, they are my advisors, confidants, friends,
and they all have a home in me,
and they all belong and have dignity.
I am sensitive, soft, fragile,
my arms wrapped around all my inner children.
And in my sensitivity, power.
In my fragility, an unshakeable Presence.
*
*
*
In the depths of my wounds,
in what I had named “darkness”,
I found a blazing Light
that guides me now in battle.
*
*
*
I became a warrior
when I turned towards myself.

And started listening.


Letting the words flow through my heart, my head, my body, I wipe a tear (or several) from my wet cheek. The heaviness & lightness of these words juxtapose confusingly as I let my feelings dance in my cells. It was as though she was speaking straight to me, straight through me. Words so deeply profound, so deeply buried, words that I've been dying to say but didn't know how to express. Well Shit.

As my knees start to ache, I begin to take deeper breaths. She sweetly tells us to come out of the posture, to stretch and start moving in a way that the words moved us. I look around and see my fellow yoginis smile, lighter than an hour ago. "Hey ya" by Outkast thuds loudly from the speaker. I found the blazing light. I turned towards myself. I started listening. And we danced. 

xoxo,
LRM

Inspiration is everywhere

Thoughts during a working

I went to a boxing class the other morning. 45 minutes into it, we were on our millionth lunge, and as some new hip hop song I'm completely unfamiliar with started, I was ready to end it.
My peppy 20 something instructor was jumping and kicking and encouraging us and said something that I'm sure she hasn't thought of since. Meanwhile, I haven't stopped thinking about it. "You feel that? That's change". 2485th lunge.

"Feel that? that's change."

Knowing she acknowledged the fact that my quads were burning was an odd relief. Its normal to feel this pain. Its actually good that you're feeling this pain! I began to acknowledge other areas I've felt immense discomfort and realized that in that, is where there was change. Yes. I have a knack for contemplating life in any given situation, even a boxing class.
A move, a relationship, ending bad habits, losing weight, that uncomfortable conversation. Freedom is on the other side of that threshold.
Feel that? That's change.

We cant grow if we don't challenge ourselves. We have to get scared, be brave, feel the burn. Thank you, random instructor at a chain gym in the middle of Pennsylvania. I thought moments like that were reserved for yoga classes and epiphanies on the mat. 

xoxo,  LRM

12 mindfulness myths

1) Mindfulness = positive thinking

Mindfulness is awareness of whatever state you’re in - the good, the bad and the neutral. It is finding stillness and an ability to detach from whatever thought or feeling. Being mindful.

2) Mindfulness is a quick fix

Mindfulness is a conscious choice. It’s a practice. It takes discipline to shift your perspective and to unlearn lifelong destructive patterns. Mindfulness is awareness of the present moment without judgement, which takes daily practice and a lot of time.

3) Mindfulness is the ultimate cure for everything wrong in my life

Mindfulness won’t make our stress or pain go away, but if we meditate regularly and incorporate it in our lives, it will change the way we approach unpleasantness.

4) Mindfulness = religion

Although initially founded on Buddhist practices, some of its central teachings stem from ancient Hebrew scripture and today is taught in countless secular ways.

5) Mindfulness practice = full relaxation

You might relax when you meditate but then you might not – this doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong. We are not practicing to achieve any particular mind state but merely noticing our experience whatever it may be.

6) Mindfulness is about trying to empty our mind of thoughts

Rather we are learning to see our thoughts as passing mental events and respond to them (on interpreting them) with greater accuracy, less judgement and more openness to possibilities.

7) I’m too distracted to focus

While it is the nature of the mind to be busy and always looking for new things, when we practice, we are learning to let go of our thoughts and return to the point of focus (such as the breath). Our mind will quickly wander again, and the instruction remains the same: as soon as you realize your mind has gone for a walk, acknowledge it and bring it back to the focus without any judgement.

8) Living in the moment means living without any regard to the future and consequences

All we really have is the present moment. Mindfulness helps bring our attention to the present as opposed to being frustrated by the past or anxious for the future. Once we can attain trust, peace and stillness in the now, we are paying attention to our experience in the present moment. The present moment is the opportunity to determine the future.

9) Long and infrequent sessions are more beneficial 

Meditating for shorter amounts of time and more frequently is better for long term effects. When we wait until things get bad, we tend to want the quick fix. If we practice daily, even for 3 minutes, it adjusts and prepares your mind. Making mindfulness a part of everyday life is better for you than trying to push a long bout of meditation, information and saturating yourself with self help to make problems go away.

10) Mindfulness is sitting still or laying down

There are all types of meditation and mindfulness. We can mindfully walk, mindfully eat, mindfully communicate. We want to avoid thinking about your ‘to-do list’ or about something that has already happened. Simply be.

11) There is only one way to be mindful

Mindfulness is a subjective personal experience, so what might work for one person, might not work for another.

12) Learning mindfulness is a linear process

Often we have to learn the same lessons over and over, and sometimes our attention feels very focused, but then at other times very distracted. Just because we aren’t as patient as we’d like, if we fall asleep, if we aren’t as impacted by a meditation, that doesn’t mean we’re failing. Practicing mindfulness is a life-long journey that provides endless opportunities for learning.

create a meditation space in your classroom

Creating a "calm corner" or a "meditation space" in a classroom can be challenging. Removing oneself from their natural habitat, in the same room, in a shift for students.

From my meditation space to yours - Having a special space in your home is important. I have accumulated sweet statues, candles, crystals and anything I consider calming and inspiring. I try to sit on a pillow or my yoga mat, but in all honesty, it’s the first thing I do and I do it in bed. The concept of a good luck charm comes to me. I always wondered what those were, always wanting one. My friends would have a “good luck bracelet” or “good luck pendant” on their jewelry. I was jealous. What is this? Why don’t I have one? My dad told me “its what you make it. If you consider it lucky, if you set the intention that it brings you luck, then it will”. This is how I feel about a meditation space.

Here are some suggestions you can use for both home and a classroom. Setting an intention of comfort & calm is key.

-Pictures of sunsets, landscapes, waves crashing, friendly animals  (for inspiration click here)

-Mala beads. Make your own mala (here)

-Crystals (for more info click here)

-Indian Gods (books and info click here)

-candles (real or fake, purchase here)

-a pillow

-blanket

The goal here, is for kids to feel comfortable. It’s a special space that might help their minds relax, that might take them out of their heads for a bit. Its hard to go from sitting at a desk learning, taking a test, asking questions, reading books to staying in the same room and completely adjusting your thoughts. But even a picture of an elephant can trigger a moment of happiness or calm. And go from there. Those candles that don’t use flames, they can get into the ritual of turning them on when they’d like to have their time, and turning them off when they are ready to commit back to their class with a cleared mind.

how to catch anxiety off-guard

Anxiety

In this post, we’ll talk about the vibration of anxiety and some techniques to teach your child, your students and yourself how to slowly step out through mindfulness.

Bottom line, kids are too stressed out lately. I still thank my lucky stars that Facebook wasn’t invented until I was in college. If I grew up with that, let alone a phone I would have gone insane. The face to face snarky remarks, the passive aggression, the cliques – I don’t think I could have handled online harassment, added to recent pressures kids have to study for tests every few months, the good grades they have to keep for the next 8 years before even thinking about applying to college. Its so easy to get caught up in the insane spiral that is anxiety.

The Lowest of Vibrations and how we get stuck

Anxiety is what we call a low vibration.  It is one of the lowest on the scale of hundreds and hundreds of emotions. It doesn't do anyone any good, yet our body learns to tolerate it. And gets to know its a little better. Then gets addicted to it. And we create comfort around it, and that’s the end of that. Anxiety is a normal part of a child's personality.
We get caught up in the feeling, the thoughts. The long list of things weighs strongly on our desire to be the best, throwing us into the “I suck at everything” pit. Mindfulness activates a different part of the brain. We can breath to calm our hearts. Our calm hearts can redirect our thoughts. Our attention can shift and we can detach from anxiety little by little. We can change our thoughts through the calm of our face paced beating heart.

Tips to break free

Gratitude: One of my favorite quotes is “Interrupt Anxiety with Gratitude”.  Even if the student is pressed for time, the magic that can happen when we focus on what we’re grateful for, even during the walk from locker to classroom, can change everything.

Breath: When you sense your students get anxious, maybe their head hurting with the to-do list of things, their stomach getting tight, have them focus on your breath. Start to consciously so what your body does to keep you alive. Here are many techniques that have helped yogis, teachers, politicians (PRANAYAMA)

Slow down and smile: Words of wisdom from my coach and friend. Its usually followed with “What does that mean to you”. Have your students try to answer what they think “slowing down” means. When I remind myself of this, I tend to put on some music and walk a little slower. Notice things more. Stop at the red light and notice 3 things you’ve never seen before. Have a positive thought about a stranger. Maybe she’s got a cute purse or he looks like he’d be a good musician.

Meditate: Sitting and consciously connecting to your breath for 2 minutes is wonderful. To music, to silence. Imagine your thought disappearing. Do this however you’d like. I like to pretend the universe is a huge magnet and sucks up whatever thought I have in a swift motion, leaving me with, of course a million other thoughts, but it does get rid of one at a time.  

This is a process. A practice. This is not easy stuff.  Take it easy and congratulate yourself whenever you make the effort. And that’ll show with your students too. 😊

how to bring mindfulness into your classroom

In this post I will explain why I think it’s becoming increasingly important to bring meditation into the classroom, tips on how to do it, benefits and some words of advice.

For more on bringing creative mindfulness into your class, click here

My story
As a private English teacher and founder of English & Yoga, I’ve been given the opportunity to utilize the 60 – 90 minutes with my students to not only teach English but cultivate the ability to know when they are getting bored, restless, overwhelmed. Most teachers are able to see this in their students, as teachers are a very special type of person. Because I’ve seen the incredible outcome in my students, I’m passionate about incorporating this in schools. To help teachers teach it, to help parents integrate it in their lives and bring this magic to as many kids in their early years as much as possible.

Why its important, especially these days
You are with these kids for up to 35 hours a week. You know them, you love them. Its why you’re a fantastic teacher. It is up to you, in this allotted timeframe you’re given, to help children make healthy decisions. To expand their minds.  They are put under so much pressure these days. Extracurriculars, tests, social life, homework. Throw in screens, social media and cell phones and you’ve got yourself a crazy life for a child. Internet hadn’t even been invented when I was in middle school, so that was kinda nice. I still managed to find distractions, but nothing like what the kids are doin these days. They will never want to sit still. Hear their breath. Adults don’t like to either. That’s why its so important. Doing something when you least feel like doing it is when it’s the most beneficial!

Benefits
Mindfulness is meant to guide awareness towards thoughts and emotions.
Not to judge, not to react, but to be aware. Its not meant to control your mind, but to transform it.
It is the complete opposite of how their minds work in schools. Where all their energy and attention is directed towards maintaining information which is usually measured by tests, not their authentic and true expressions.

It’s a great launching pad to awareness, better focus and less distraction.

Tips on how to do it: ‘the magic moment’

Take the pressure off any outcome. First and foremost. Detaching from the idea that your class will be angels in the first few days is KEY.

Take your time. Practice patience. Stay compassionate. This is new to them too. 

The first few times might take more than the time you’ve allotted for this. Getting them out of their chairs, changing the schedule a little bit. You know this, you’re an incredible teacher and the kids are accustomed to the timing and flow of your class.

A little precaution

By taking a playful and entertaining approach, you are less likely to have your class consider this punishment. Physically, there isn’t a huge different between time-out and meditating. You are still and quiet. If its made something that a child can opt in, it’s a great catalyst for introspection. It enhances self awareness. Even just a little bit goes a long way in the life of a child.

 As soon as you’ve attached a purpose to mindfulness, improved academic performance, calming skills, compassion, you’ve created another activity to reach a goal, another thing on their “list”. This is the last place we want to go with this.

Never force it. These practices can be very intense, sometimes propelling anxiety, depression and negative thoughts to the surface. Be aware of where your students are starting from, and go from there. Use your intuition as the incredible teacher you are. Be discerning.